Life is unfair.

Really, it is.

The thought might leave you feeling powerless, deflated, defeated.

Never fear though, you have a power mightier than anything life can throw at you: the power of choice.

You can choose to react without thinking, you can choose to let something eat at you,  you can choose to become angry, you can choose to be miserable.

Or you can choose to stay calm, you can choose to take a breath and think before reacting, you can choose to walk away, you can choose to look at things positively, you can choose to find joy whenever you can.

Take a moment to think about all the things that weigh you down. Ultimately, you have a choice whether you are going to let them affect you negatively or positively.

Example #1, you're driving to work when someone cuts you off. They pull up next to you, screaming that you were driving too slow and call you a terrible name before driving off. 

You have the choice to scream right back, get completely stressed out, let it put you in a foul mood, and ruin your morning as you spend hours ruminating over the incident.  Meanwhile the guy calling you names has forgotten all about it.

Or you can take a deep breath, choose not to react, let him scream and yell as you drive off. You have chosen to remain calm, you have chosen not to let something so trivial effect your entire mind and body, you have chosen to walk (or drive) away.

Example #2- something a bit more tragic. You get dumped. You have every right to feel sadness, anger, betrayal…the list goes on and on. There are countless emotions you will go through and you need to feel every one of them. Remember that choice is not denial. We have feelings and we need to let ourselves sit with them.

But that doesn't mean we want to wallow in them. There will come a point where you will choose to become negative, choose to feel sorry for yourself, choose to mope around being miserable.

Or you can choose to move on, choose to look at the break-up as a positive force for change in your life, choose to let you inner happiness and self love shine through, choose to find someone else or not. 

Choosing to be your own source of happiness and contentment is not easy. You need to learn to not react to every conflict and that takes practice. It also takes some getting to know yourself. You need to be able to step outside your current situation and try to look at it from a different perspective.

The best way to start to do this is through spending some time just sitting alone, quietly, doing nothing but breathing, otherwise known as Meditation. I'll save Meditation basics for another post but for now just try to take 5 minutes in the morning to sit and breath without distraction.

Then start to pay attention. There are countless moments during the course of our lives where we can choose to make ourselves miserable or choose to protect our contentment.

You create and take away your own happiness, no person or thing can do that to you unless you let it.

It's your choice.

Sometimes I feel as though my life is like going to the grocery store for a major shopping trip with no list.

I end up getting or doing things that I don't really need and I completely forget the important items.

Having a list doesn't mean I'm organized either. It just means I have a very long list of a hundred things to do and no idea what to start with first. Basically an out of control shopping list that's ten pages long!

To-do lists are extremely useful but I am finding that you really need two different types. First, you need to have one where you just write down things as they come into your head. If you want to break them up into categories fine, if it's more of a stream of consciousness that's fine too.  

I keep small notebook for this. I use it for to-do's and for anything else I come across that I want to remember later on. For example, if I see something useful I want to add to my website, I write it down. If I see a yoga article I want to share I write down the web address. It's a multifunction notebook.

The second list you need are the things you are going to accomplish today and just today. You can pull them off your big list or they can be totally new. My Smartphone has a great Notes feature where I can use my stylus as a pen and scribble away.

At night I write down 3-6 things I will accomplish the next day. I do this at night otherwise my sleep will be interrupted by intermittent bursts of trying to remember what I have to do the next morning. So I get it out of my head and onto my phone.

The key for this to be successful is focusing on one thing and finishing those particular tasks that you have assigned to yourself for that day. Don't bounce back and forth between them and DO NOT MULTITASK.

Yoga and Meditation teach us to focus on the present moment with clarity and balance. Moving from one task to another and back again is distracting and scatters our energy. Decide what you are going to work on, pour your attention and energy into that task, complete it successfully and then move on to the next. 

Don't fret if this doesn't come easy to you at first. We are a culture that is in a constant state of stimulation and shifting our minds to just one thing can be very challenging.

Just as it's impossible to have a perfect yoga practice or meditation session, this process won't be flawless but you do the best you can. If you get interrupted or distracted  or things just get a little out of your control - sit back, take a few deep breaths and get right back to it.

So recap:

1. Have one device (manual or computerized) to write down all to-do's, ideas or basically anything that pop's into your head that's worth remembering. (You'll sleep better at night!)

2. Have another device (manual or computerized) to write down a few tasks that you can complete in one day.

3. Choose one task and begin.

4. Try to focus yourself and continue to stick with the one task.

5. Complete Task

6. Rinse and Repeat  (Take a few deep breaths and start on task #2)

7. New day, new tasks ( If you didn't finish all your tasks from the previous day, carry them over)