Category Archives: Life

Take Your Eye Off the Prize

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I was reading a blog entry over at Yoga for Cynics and they referred to this great little Zen parable that I thought I would share.

A Zen student approached his teacher, and asked the Zen Master:
"If I work very hard and diligent how long will it take for me to find enlightenment."
The Master thought about this, then replied, "Ten years."
The student then said, "But what if I work very, very hard and really apply myself to learn fast — How long then ?"
Replied the Master, "Well, twenty years."
"But, if I really, really work at it. How long then ?" asked the student.
"Thirty years," replied the Master.
"Every time that I say I will work harder, you say it will take me longer! "said the disappointed student. Why do you say that ?"
The Master Replied:" When you have one eye on the goal, you only have one eye on the path."

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I am reminded that it is natural and healthy to have goals, to want to achieve something in your life but sometimes we get so wrapped up in the conclusion that we forget to enjoy all of the moments leading up to it. We convince ourselves that we won't be happy unless there is a quick successful outcome. We give the goal too much power in our lives. I know it's hard to believe but there is such a thing as trying too hard.

Whether your goal is to finish school, plan a wedding or raise a child take some time out to enjoy your journey. Once a moment is gone it can't be repeated, so savor each of them!

What Can You Expect?

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You may ask yourself, why is life so frustrating?  There may be a host of reasons why you may be down in the dumps but if you take a moment to really sift through your problems you might find that it's your expectations of things that are making you unhappy and not the actual situation.

You expect your new found partner to sweep you off your feet, you expect that your job recognizes your good work and acts accordingly; you expect that your loved ones won't get sick.

I expect that maybe one of these expectations will hold true and I expect that the rest of them will throw you a curveball and bring some unhappiness into your life. 

The expectations don't stop there either. Think about the tiny little everyday things you expect to happen. Your commute to work for instance- you expect it will be free of any delays, like most days. But you just left Rosslyn and the Orange line has different ideas. There’s a train out of commission at Foggy Bottom and your stuck in a subway tunnel 200 feet below the Potomac, let the fun and games begin!

It's taken me a while to learn this lesson but we have to let go. Nothing is absolutely in our control and you cannot stop change from occurring. Don't allow yourself to fall into the trap of creating in your mind what life should be. Life just is.

Now, I'm certainly not saying you shouldn't have goals for yourself but the more malleable you can make those plans, the less chance you will be miserable when you hit a brick wall. Things may not work out exactly according to your timetable but they do work out.

I was reminded today that even when you think an answer will be black or white, you get offered a mucky shade of gray. Life has always defied expectations and it always will. We can either fight it, force our expectations on the unpredictable and be miserable or we can live each moment as it comes. Take what life has to offer and make the absolute best of it that you can. Leave behind your expectations, enjoy the journey and learn to love the color gray