So you want to start to meditate because you’ve heard it can be good for you but you’re not quite sure where to begin. Or maybe you’ve tried it and you’re not really sure what all the buzz is about because you were just annoyed, anxious, uncomfortable and miserable.
Let me start by warning you right away. Meditation is not easy. In fact I can tell you that an advanced yoga class is nothing compared to trying to sit still for 10 minutes. So right up front I will say that it is hard and it is a process. You will never get it “right” so just let go of that now and just allow yourself to go along for the ride.
We’re a bit overstimulated here in America and I am sure you know many people, maybe even yourself that if they had to stay in a room by themselves for an hour sitting still with nothing but four walls and the truth, they would go nuts.
So if you are a constantly going, mind racing, smartphone loving, multitasking machine, it is even more important that you try this out.
Or as one of my teachers Darren Main simply put it, you meditate so you become less of an *sshole. Never a truer word was spoken-just ask my family pre and post learning to meditate.
So where do you begin? Let’s start with how to sit.
You have options. The most common way to meditate is sitting on the floor, which I will go in to in greater detail in a moment. But if it’s not possible for you , you can sit in a chair, one with a back that is upright. Not a Lazy Boy. Oh and while we are at it, no lying down either. You should be relaxed but not asleep. (although you may still fall asleep sitting up!)
If you can get down on the floor, sit in a comfortable cross-legged position. I strongly encourage you to sit on a pillow or some folded blankets. They also make fancy meditation cushions called zafus. Like this:
Bring your shoulders up to your ears tightly and then release them. Let any tension there release and just let the shoulders go. Place you hands on your knees, palms can face up or down just as long as the arms are supported.
Your head should be a natural extension of your spine. You don’t want the chin to be tucked down but you also do not want to crunch the back of your neck by looking up. Think about smoothing out the back of the neck and just letting the head sit atop your spine.
If you haven’t sat crossed legged for an extended period of time this posture is going to be uncomfortable. Your legs may fall asleep, your ankles may dig into the ground, your knees may ache from being bent and your back may throb from sitting up straight. I promise the more you do it the better this will feel. Also, there is a reason yoga asanas (poses) were
developed thousands of years ago – to get the body ready for meditation. So at the end of this post I will list some simple meditation warm up poses for you to do if you want to be a bit more limber.
Now that you are seated let’s move on to how to actually meditate.
It may seem like a person who is meditating is just sitting still with their eyes closed but that is just the tip of the iceberg.
There are many many types of meditation, you can really meditate on any topic from self-worth to letting go. You can use a mantra (a word or series of words you repeat) or you could use a candle drawing all of your attention to the flame. But the simplest meditation is just focusing on your breath. So we will start there.
Your breath is going to be soft and normal. If you’re a yogi, forget about ujjayi breathing, just use your natural breath which will become lighter and slower all on its own as you relax.
Your breath is your anchor. It is your focal point. You want to bring all of your awareness and attention to the movement of the air through your nose. This is the most challenging part because your mind and even your body are going to fight you at every turn.
Our bodies and our minds are constantly going so meditation is counter intuitive to everything we know. That is why meditation can be so difficult but that is also why we need it so badly.
When you sit and close your eyes you may figet. People play with their hands, their feet, they roll their neck, twist their spine, adjust their cushion 30 times, have an itch or need to check the clock. This is one of the first and most basic ways your mind starts messing with you.
Don’t let it.
Make sure you have a comfortable seat ( as comfortable as you can make it) before you start and have a timer that you can set and place far away from you. I use a really great one on my iPhone called Insight Timer. I set it and a lovely chime goes off telling me when to start and when I am done. So get your timer and then forget about time. Also, don’t give yourself any excuse to be I interrupted. Lock yourself in a room, turn off the ringer on the phone, whatever you have to do so you will have at least 10 minutes to yourself.
Then stay absolutely still. I really mean it. If you do nothing else for 10 minutes but sit still without moving you have achieved a major accomplishment. A still body promotes a still mind. You can’t even begin to work on calming your mind down if your body is all over the place so make physical stillness your first priority.
Now that you found a quiet space, you set your timer, you are seated and you are still. Bring your attention to your breath. Listen to it. Feel it move in your nose and down the back of the throat. Feel the air release out over your top lip. Empty the mind and just focus on the breath.
Unfortunately, your mind doesn’t give up so easy. It’s going to distract you. It’ going to bring up your ex boyfriend from 5 years ago, that dress that didn’t fit right last week or whatever it is you think you should be doing other than sitting like a statue in a locked room.
Don’t give in. This is where you really start to do the important work. This is where you let your mind know who’s in charge but not in a typical aggressive way. You are going to take charge by becoming aware that you have been distracted and then simply letting go.
When a thought invades your focus on the breath, acknowledge it in a way that works for you. Maybe it’s a pink neon sign that pops into your head flashing “THINKING” or maybe you take a really deep breath to regain focus. Then let the thought go. Don’t let it consume you or spiral out of control into some big dramatic storyline. Realize it’s there in your space
and then let it move on its way.
You can imagine the thought as a painting on a wall that you are looking at and someone comes by and takes it away, leaving you a blank space. Or maybe the thoughts are floating on a river and you see it there but it rushes past you, leaving only clear water.
Use whatever analogy works for you, but the whole process is realizing that you have become distracted and then letting that distraction go. In the process you are looking at your thoughts like you would look at a picture – as an observer, rather than being consumed by them.
Like anything else in life this takes practice. So please be nice to yourself and don’t get aggravated or frustrated. You will get better at stilling the body and mind and you will see the benefits but you need to keep at it. Just 5-10 minutes each day can make a difference.
What are these amazing benefits? You get to spend some quiet quality time with yourself. You lower your blood pressure and increase immunity. If you meditate in the morning you can start your day with a sense of calm. You feel less stressed and your ability to deal with stress improves. You become more focused and less distracted in your daily life because you have become aware and are developing your ability to really concentrate. Most importantly
you are learning to separate yourself from the crazy that can sometimes occur in the mind. And we know how our own mind can cause us heaps of misery if we let it.
In the end you will feel better and be better.
So to wrap this 101 post up let’s recap the steps:
1. Get a timer and find a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted
2. Take a seat
3. Close your eyes and sit still
4. Breath normally and focus on that breath
5. When thoughts invade your peaceful space, recognize them and let them go
6. Open your eyes and carry on with your day, a bit better off then you were 10 minutes before.
7. Repeat
If you have any questions about meditating or any of the poses below please ask away!
YOGA
Yoga asanas (the poses) were actually created to make the body ready for mediation so if you have time, doing a few gentle yoga poses will make the body a bit more limber before you begin.
Standing side stretch
Shoulder and Neck Rolls
Standing Bound Fold
Cat/Cow Pose
Upright Pigeon
Cobblers Pose
Seated Twist
